How to Become Friends with Successful People // Ep. 30

In This Episode

• How to leverage your existing interests to make new friends
• Why successful people hang out late
• How to locate people places where successful people hang out

How to Make Friends with Successful Traders

Some say that you're the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

So how do you find people who are doing what you want to do and are at a place in life that you want to be?

In this episode, we give you tips on how to make more friends with successful people, while still exploring your interests and passions.

Read the Transcript:

Hugh: Hi, Walter. They say that you are the average of the five people you hang out with the most. What are your tips on finding more successful people to hang out with?

Walter: That's interesting. I think it's kind of like finding a mentor you know if you're trying to learn a new skill. I believe that going to University doesn't necessarily prepare you as much as maybe working with somebody would. Like someone that kind of says, “Okay, I'm going to show you how we do this” sort of thing.

Which is kind of funny for me to say that because I spent so much of my life in school you know getting a PhD and everything. But having said that, that's how a PhD works in Science. You kind of work with a mentor so you know even more so in places like Australia or England where that's pretty much all you do.

Whereas in the U.S, in Canada they have courses. You actually take classes but in other countries the PhD is literally just working with a mentor. So I guess that makes sense. Here's the thing. For me and some people do this — and I understand why they do it — they just hang out with people because like what you just said. 

They go, “Oh, this guy is really successful so I want to learn from him or work with him more. Hang around him and kind of figure it out.” I find that you kind of need to like them too. Do you know what I mean? Some people do that. They're totally cut throat. In fact Lincoln's wife, I think his second wife was like that. I think it's the guy who wrote the How To Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie is that?

Hugh: Yeah.

Walter: I think he wrote a biography of Lincoln which is really good. If you haven't had a chance to read it. Anyway, it sounded like Lincoln had a terrible life. He had so many bad things happen. People kind of might know that before he became President. Becoming President was probably the only thing that he actually succeeded at and, even at the time he was like Donald Trump is today. Everyone hated him. It's funny that we look back and I guess we used to think he was a good President before we tore down his statues and stuff.

Anyway, his second wife was like that; she was cut throat. It was funny. I think she was at some point considering who to marry. Either Lincoln or the guy that Lincoln was running against for Senate. Literally, it was kind of like a coin flip. She chose Lincoln then he lost the race and the other guy won the Senate race or whatever. It was so funny. It was something like that.

So for me, I like to have friends that you know that I like and it's nice if they're also someone that you can learn things from. I think part of the process of this, if you have a lot of friends that you feel like you know they're not doing as well as you or they're not at the point like they just seem to always have bad luck or they always seem to be down, part of the process is just pruning those relationships from your life.

Do you know what I mean? Like kind of cutting the ones that you don't want that influence in your life anymore. Which is always difficult especially if you've grown up with somebody since you were kids and that sort of thing, that's always tough.

Hugh: Or a family member.

Walter: Exactly, yeah. So I think that's the first thing you do and then the other thing is it's pretty easy like you think about where will people be that you think you'd get along with. It would be like if you keep going to McDonald's, what are the chances that you're going to bump into someone that's got a three Million dollar trading account?

Maybe but chances are you're probably more likely to find someone who's you know not at that level. There are a lot of places you can go; that's why they have clubs and stuff. In Sydney, here they have the American Club, where all the Americans hang out. It's so funny.

A friend of mine when she worked at one in Japan, in Tokyo. They have the American Club and they make deep dish Chicago Pizza. So you know golfing and things like that, it depends on what you're into. I've made some really good relationships mostly from older people who are retired through surfing because in Australia, surfing is very and probably similar in the US. There's a whole wide…

Hugh:  It’s a national sport, right?

Walter: Yeah, a lot of people do it. It's not just a certain demographic. Whereas, you might say like if you were going to do badminton, there's probably a certain type of demographic that's going to do that.

Hugh: Hey there! I hope you find this episode useful. I just want to let you know that Walter and I give away something valuable every month that helps traders improve their skills. You can enter to win by simply leaving an iTunes review and leaving a comment on our YouTube videos.

At the end of each month, we'll look at the comments and reviews from the month and we'll pick a winner at random. Each comment and each review counts for one entry during the month that it's pitted.

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Walter: Maybe bowling is similar but with surfing it kind of cuts a wide range. So I've made some really good personal mentoring relationships from people. — Some of them have died because they were older —  from surfing, so for me that's been. 

So I would just say: Do what you like and think about where the successful people would be and try to go there; if that's something that you would do naturally. If it's not, you know if you're not into bridge, you don't have to go learn how to play bridge or go into the bridge club or whatever. Or, golf or whatever it is, I would just do what you like to do and think about where they would be.

But the first step, the most important step is cutting the relationships from those people that you feel like are holding you back because everything seems to be against them. They're always kind of a negative energy on you when you're around and they kind of drag you down, that's what I would say. What about you? What are your ideas?

Hugh: That's a good point. I totally believe in what you're saying about taking your interest first and go do that and then go find some cool people because there's always going to be cool people in those activities.

Walter: Yeah.

Hugh: I think the general area is another thing to consider like what area are you doing these activities in? Is it more of an upscale area or is it like a lower income area or whatever that can play a factor in it. Another thing that's been helpful is just going to meetups or any kind of group associated with trading and then just staying there and hanging out late. 

I think that's one of the key things. The cool people tend to hang out late. They like to drink and once you start drinking, all the stuff comes out right and you just enter, everybody's like good buddies afterwards.

Walter: That's a good tip. That's a really good tip because it's so true what you just said, that's kind of where like those conferences and those things where you have a lot of you know whatever the field is like trading or whatever and that's where a lot of that stuff happens. You are right. The other thing that you said that reminded me is you can move, right? 

So if you live in an area like let's say, you're fairly young and you're renting and you live in a really nice place but it's in kind of a cheaper neighborhood. What if you were to move to a really small place in an expensive neighborhood. I think you really bring up a good point here. What you're saying about, when you're saying about where you live because if you don't live in a nice area, you can always move to some place. 

Especially if you're young and you're kind of mobile. You don't have a family and stuff and it's easy. You could go from a place where it's kind of nice and bigger in a lower neighborhood. Go to a really nice neighborhood and get a smaller place. Like in Manhattan right now; I hear it's on sale. Places in Manhattan that were forty-five hundred a month are now like two grand. It's a sixty percent discount. Everyone's moving out. No one wants to be there. It's a lot of fear. 

You've heard buy when it's fear, people are fearful and so when they're greedy. So that's the kind of thing that you might think about doing. It is being kind of strategic about that because let's face it. There's two things we know. I know this from Psychology research. It's mostly about kids. Your friends tend to look like you. Your friends tend to look like you and they also tend to live close to you. Think like you, you know that sort of thing. 

So if you were being very strategic about this, you could move to an area where you know it's like a rising tide. Lifts all boats. If more people are more successful there or whatever have more disposable income or whatever you're trying to get in with, that would be one way to do it for sure.

Hugh: Yeah, totally. I think there's also the point to be made about, maybe you don't have to necessarily make friends with people who are already successful but if they're positive people and have that mindset, they share similar interests I think, that's equally useful. The person doesn't have to be successful. You don’t have to be that guy chasing all the successful people. It's just whoever's cool and has a good mindset.

Walter: Yeah and you can see what not to do too. I remember there's a comedian named Adam Carolla, the comedian. He was talking about how he looked around because he grew up in a tough like poor tough family sort of thing. He said, “I looked around. I looked at all the families and all the people are doing really well”. He said, “You know all the Jewish families seem to be doing really well. What do they have in common? They have a really strong family unit.” Do you know what I mean?

They were really tight with the family and he said that's what I wanted to recreate. So he's tried to recreate that with his kids and stuff like that you know. The other thing I learned from a mentor is he said, “Do you know what? Did you know how I learned all this stuff? And I got all this?” He's got a house in Beverly Hills; really cool guy.

I learned a lot from him. He said, “I took the shortcut.” I said, “What do you mean? You took the shortcut?” He said, “I bought my way in.” He said, “I just paid other people to mentor me.” I’m like, “Really? Is it that easy?” He goes, “Yeah”. Instead of looking at information and courses and things like that as an expense, I started looking at it like an investment when he told me that.

I was like, “Yeah, that's a good point” the way that he said you know I didn't really think of, you know he's like, “Yeah, I took the shortcut. I just you know bought my way in. I’m like, “Really?” “Yeah” “Okay.” So you know that really shifted my thinking when he told me that.

Hugh: Yeah that's huge. I mean, I don't think a lot of people especially if you don't have a lot of money, they're always thinking, “Oh how can I save on this? How can I download this for free? How can I get the PDF version of this book.” 

It's good to save money and all but I think that you really need to pay up for the education and you can find these people online. You just do a lot of searching and again find the people who are cool. The people you jive with and take it from there, right?

Walter: That's it. That's definitely it.

Hugh: All right. Thanks, Walter.

Walter: See you.

Hugh: All the information in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not trading or investment advice.

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